The Big 5-0

Guess Who?

So today was my birthday; I turned the Big 5-0. Not Hawaii Five-O, the other one.....

I'm actually okay with it. Of course I'm still reflecting on my life to date, and what I wanted to have accomplished by now; and my hopes - and reality sure don't match up. It's the more recent setbacks that are influencing my overall picture right now...

But on the positive side, it has been kind of freeing for me. I still want to try and put my best foot forward, but I don't sweat the small stuff as much as I used to. I've gotten more comfortable in my own skin. It didn't happen overnight, it's been a gradual process. A journey, not a destination point.

I had wanted to make a trip down to Seattle and the Space Needle to celebrate my birthday, but that unfortunately did not end up happening. At some point after my last birthday I apparently looked at the calendar wrong, and thought my birthday was on Saturday (I don't know what I was thinking, or what year I was looking at). But also, financially I was not in a good position to make it a reality, so I had to let that idea go.

My team-mate at work, Amber, asked me why the Space Needle; and aside from the fact that I think it is about the coolest thing in Seattle, we both had our debuts in 1962.

I have been up to the observation deck once, and really enjoyed it. This picture is one that my dad took on a visit out here before he married Susan, but I can't remember if that was the same time that we went up with my brother Mark or not.

I think losing both dad and Mark two years ago has also added to the bittersweet feelings I've had for the last week. Not having married and had a family of my own has made it harder to lose the family I grew up with. I truly value my friendships, but there are times when they can't fill the void.

Lake Michigan

But I did have a good day. The sun was shining and it was warm and beautiful, and I was thankful for that. And Amber and Terry treated me to lunch and espresso at work, and I received well wishes from friends. So just like the rest of my life, everything did not go as planned, but I still had a good time...